Tag Archive - women

Minister Wives Fellowship and Support

July 13, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, Leadership, Ministry to Women, series with 2 Comments

Minister Wives Fellowship and Support

Welcome to this more intimate series of posts that are meant to be a “we’re-in-this-together” kind of thing. I’ll write these posts to both challenge and honor us as the leaders we’re called to be. We’ve felt the essential need to connect with someone who understands the ministry and gets us. I’m a preacher’s wife and I have a desire to help minister’s wives find a safe place to to be heard and receive ministry. I’ll provide helps, a few opinions and lots of confessions in the struggle to be a pastor’s wife. My intention is to build a support system for you, the special servants of God, that often feel isolated and overlooked.

photo credit: ubo_pakes
Together, Facing the World

This post will serve as a table of contents for this series.

As always, please leave your thoughts, suggestions, and things you’d love for me to consider covering in the comments!

Can’t wait to get started. The following are the ideas to come and posts:

How to Embarrassingly Prepare Cross-culturally in One Sunday Morning
One Essential Way for a Pastor’s Wife to Deal with Anger
post on being real for minister’s and minister’s wives from a children’s book
continued . . .

As always, if you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here or make a comment on this post!

This is the Minister Wives Fellowship and Support Series. If you liked it, you might enjoy the I nsights into Ministry & Leadership Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series and the Living and Working on Mission Series. Click over to the table of contents for all the Blog Series.

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One Essential Way for a Pastor’s Wife to Deal with Anger

July 12, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, Leadership with 4 Comments

I don’t know about you, but for me my anger is triggered when things don’t work right. When it’s needed, one ought to be able to depend upon it to work. Yet things break, fail and simply don’t get the job done. That frustrates me. I’m busy and really don’t have time to coddle a cantankerous thing-a-ma-jig. It could be my car, my lawn mower or my dishwasher. Or it could be a person, my children or my spouse. It really doesn’t matter which; I struggle with the same frustration when stuff doesn’t work. (Never mind the fact that the way it should work is my way. That’s a different blog post confession all together.) But when a company is paid to deliver a product or service and they fail, my dander especially gets all out of whack. It’s a whole other level.

photo credit: pat00139
That’s One Angry Bird

Poor Service is Frustrating

Like my internet server. Their service is intermittent based upon how the wind blows. At the same time I have a bad hair day I also have to put up with no internet. It used to be tolerable. A finger-comb through my hair and a short call to the internet provider would fix it right up. I’d call the 800 number and they would punch a button somewhere in their system and it’d be fixed in no time. But not now. I can’t talk with them any more.

In case you haven’t been watching the wildfire news. I live in a Texas hotspot. A heat wave of hot air that parched us with no rain since last October, until recently that is. When the rains finally came, so did the wind. That’s right. Lots of internet outage. The nice young man on the other end of the 800 number said, “I’m sorry the company won’t let me do a quick restart anymore.”

“Why? It always fixed the problem in the past.”

“I don’t know why. I have to call a service representative. They should get to you in a week, depending upon how backed up they are.”

Right. The temperature rose as my blood began to boil. A WEEK! You’re kidding me. And everybody around here with the same provider has probably called for service making the response time even longer. It might be a month before I see results! What else is a girl to do?

I calmly said, “That won’t do.” Then I asked him to report my displeasure over his company’s policy. He hung up after giving me some number where I could talk with someone else. Like I wanted to talk with another person unable to do the right thing and break the company’s new policy! I began to look for the FIRED button, the one with the biggest buzzer?

Self-discipline, Distance and Grace Helps

But even in all that emotion, you’d be proud of me. I didn’t completely soil Jesus in my conversation with this poor guy. It’s not his fault he works for an inadequate company. But to save any outbursts, I chose not to talk with them again lest I give them their pink slip. I’m still debating and hating the idea of shopping for a new service. That’s time I’d rather be spending on more profitable ventures or ministries. My delay could be called grace.

Isn’t that what we should do? Good leaders balance productivity and grace. I’m not necessarily a good pastor’s wife, but I’m working on it. I need wisdom to handle myself and the decisions to be made.

One simple help: Trust God and pray for wisdom and grace.

How do you handle your anger triggers? How do you work at keeping the relationships prime? How do you know when to send the dreaded pink slip?

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3 Steps to an Incredible Journey with God

June 9, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, Ministry to Women with 2 Comments

A couple of days after speaking at a Prayer breakfast on the topic of a living relationship with God, I had several people who asked for a refresher. They wanted to know more about taking a deep breath and pausing our busy schedules for a few minutes to focus on God. I will answer their questions by outlining the method I use for taking a breather to join God on an incredible journey.

photo credit: juliejordanscott

I’ve read the Bible, studied the Bible, prayed, kept the famous Quiet Time and done all these things since my early teens, but it wasn’t until I asked God to speak to me that I learned what it looked like to have a living relationship with God. This forever changed the way I read the Bible and pray.

Here are the steps I take to join God on life’s journey:

Take Time to Hear God

As I exhale a physical deep cleansing kind of breath, I ask God to speak to me. I sort of sigh out all my racing thoughts and get ready to hear God speak. Careful to keep my spiritual ears open, I read a short devotion and the Bible. I don’t exegete the biblical passage or parse the biblical language. I’m not looking for in-depth Bible knowledge during this time. Rather, I’m simply reading to hear God speak–to give life to our conversation and depth to our living relationship. Reading the Bible with God conversationally has deepened my journey with God.

I keep a journal of my journey. The things God shows me during my reading, I put on paper. Sometimes it is a little unknown-to-me fact, or at others, it’s a bigger ah ha moment–like the day I was creeped out. (Recorded in Why Following God in Living Relationship is NOT for the Faint-Hearted). After writing what God says in my journal, I respond.
Respond in Prayer

My response to God is a prayer of praise–celebrating God’s continued relationship with me. I use the acrostic: P.R.A.I.S.E. Writing the acrostic down the page and my prayer according to these categories:
- Praise – Think about God’s majesty, power, mercy, grace and love. Praise him for speaking to you and thank him for who he is and what he does.
- Repentance – Ask God’s forgiveness for your wrongdoing, sin. Be specific. Ask for a clean heart.
- Acknowledgement – Recognize God as sovereign master and humbly yield yourself. Submit to him.
- Intercession – Make requests of God for others: your family, friends, church leaders, etc.
- Supplication – Make requests of God for yourself: your needs, health, job, etc
- Equipping – Ask God to help you fulfill your purpose in life: to fill you with his Spirit, to help you be victorious over evil, to empower you, to have eyes and ears to know God and a heart to respond to him.
After finishing the acrostic P.R.A.I.S.E., I ask God to confirm any specific actions I need to take.
Act on the Priorities

Wrapping up my breather with God, I think about all I need to do. On more than one occasion, God has prompted me to do something specific during my conversation. I write my refreshed to do list making sure God’s tasks get first priority.

After I finish this exercise, I close my journal but carry on the conversation with God. That’s how I know what to do to be living on purpose–going on an incredible journey with God.

How do you keep up to date with your life with God? Please share what works for you in the comments section.

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Nothing on Purpose: Learning To Be God’s

January 27, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 14 Comments

I had lunch with Sharen, and heard her story. “I’m not doing anything specific. God asked me to put aside my ministry.”

As a ministry friend I was intrigued and concerned. I wondered how does one go from an active ministry to doing nothing?

Flower in Nothing but Blue Sky

She went on to say that God gave her a peace about turning the ministry loose and that she wasn’t to replace it with other activity. Instead God impressed upon her to just be his. “I’m enjoying focusing on him, just being his and not doing anything.”

My soul longed for that kind of refreshing. The new year brought lots of fresh starts, resolutions and back to school routines that busied my schedule. Why do we feel that we have to be doing something to have value? Sharen’s relaxed and satisfied fashion proved our value isn’t in doing but being. Her face glowed with the peace and contentedness of just being.

No matter how busy our hands or how many irons we have on the fire, we can be content in simply being God’s and following his lead.

“Others may do a greater work,
But you have your part to do;
And no one in all God’s family
Can do it as well as you.” Streams in the Desert p.2

For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. (Phil 4:11. ESV)

Lord, I want to do my part: to dream, to work and to minister for you in the manner you plan for me. Make me 100% yours and useable to further your kingdom as you see fit. Help me to be content being who you want me to be and fulfilled in knowing you are my reward.
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(Images courtesy of sxc.hu)

12 Leadership Checks for Making a Kingdom Difference

January 14, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, Leadership with 4 Comments

While praying about multiplying our small group and the possibility of planting a church, I began reading and studying every related resource I could find. Many cite leadership as a key element to starting and/or maintaining a ministry.

Leaders teach Bible studies, organize and administrate offices and households, train children, balance budgets and bills then decide what’s for dinner. Leaders are everywhere, and I’m sure you’re one of them.

Leader.DucksinaRow
Leaders can lead large groups, but they must lead one: themselves. Leadership is pioneer work: heading out where no one goes but God. There are many challenges and it is easy to slip into NOT leading. In Exponential: How You and Your Friends Can Start a Missional Church Movement by Dave and Jon Ferguson, I found a cool check list for leaders to monitor themselves and make sure they lead well.

Twelve indicators that leadership is lacking
1. I wait for someone to tell me what to do rather than taking the initiative myself.
2. I spend too much time talking about how things should be different.
3. I blame the context, surroundings, or other people for my current situation.
4. I am more concerned about being cool or accepted than doing the right thing.
5. I seek consensus rather than casting vision for a preferable future.
6. I am not taking any significant risks.
7. I accept the status quo as the way it’s always been and always will be.
8. I start protecting my reputation instead of opening myself up to opposition.
9. I procrastinate to avoid making a tough call.
10. I talk to others about the problem rather than taking it to the person responsible.
11. I don’t feel like my butt is on the line for anything significant.
12. I ask for way too many opinions before taking action.

The list made me uncomfortable. Yet I’m not called to be comfortable. I am to serve even when it hurts. Fear immobilizes me and I’m guilty of allowing it to keep me from leading. This list inspired me to take a risk, to step up and really lead as God directs.

How about you? Where has God been leading that makes you uncomfortable, or like your neck is stuck out? How do you put fear aside and adventure forward with God? Please answer in the comment section.

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This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the other Blog Series.
(Images courtesy of sxc.hu)

Why Multitasking Reduces Productivity

December 8, 2010 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 4 Comments

I felt so defeated. Tasks and to-do lists stacked. The harder I worked, the behind-er I got. I wanted to quit. Doing nothing would produce the same results with much less stress. Why not give up?

That’s when I tweeted, (Twitter: @RobinBryce) “ NOT liking my busy, distracted, get-nothing-accomplished lifestyle. Please, can I have only one thing to do & permission to forget all else?”

The oversimplified spiritual response, “Love Jesus and that’s all you need to do” doesn’t help. It doesn’t get the laundry done, the Holiday efforts accomplished, my ministry tasks finalized or the family’s needs met. I need more than love for Jesus to do all the things calling for my attention.

I saved the world’s chocolate by taking my desperation to God. Sitting with my Bible and journal, I had a little talk. I mentioned my troubles and feelings then listened for God’s response. I asked him to show me one task to start with. Just one (hoping I could do one thing right).

Looking up from my Bible and at the tasks, I took my husband’s advice and organized my time to work on one job for 15 minutes. Amazingly, I got something done. It felt good.

I tweeted again. “Multitasking is overrated. Doing one thing well is better than many things half-hearted. ”

Others share my struggle with productivity. The Google search “Multitasking is overrated” found a study by Stanford University that reveals why doing more than one thing reduces productivity. The study shows a disturbing trend in our culture and defines my problem. They “found multitaskers are more easily distracted and less able to ignore irrelevant information than people who do less multitasking.” For more results read Boston.com article Maybe Multitasking is Overrated. I’m not the only one living from one distraction to another.

I felt better knowing why I was ineffective and how to correct the problem. I began asking for God’s help to focus on the job at hand and to organize my time, allotting segments for each task. It’s working so far.

How do you deal with the pressure of your busy lifestyle? Comment below.

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(Images courtesy of sxc.hu)

Spiritual Life (Part 3): How to Experience God

October 18, 2010 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 4 Comments

I checked boxes on the to-be-a-good-Christian list. I studied the Bible, did life with other believers and participated in religious activities. But I wanted more spiritually. I missed experiencing God. This desire led to finding a helpful exercise.

First, I needed to recognize God. I tended to do my normal day-to-day activities forgetting about him. To experience God, I had to look for him with great desire. He says if we seek him with all our hearts, he will be found by us (Jer 29:13). So like Moses (Ex 33), I asked for God to show himself. I began earnestly talking to God and listening for a reply. I employed the early church’s devoted action: prayer.

“All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer” (Ac 2:42).

My prayer is both scattered throughout the day and a regular scheduled appointment. The appointments build depth into my impromptu prayers. The tools for my appointed time are: notebook, pen, devotional and Bible. I set aside at least 15 minutes of focused time.

I date the entry and write, “God speaks.” While asking him to do so, I read the short devotion and a passage from the Bible. When I find something new or a greater understanding, I celebrate and record these “Ah ha” moments.

After recognizing God, I praise him. Praising God invites him to break my routine with a spiritual experience. I respond to God in continued prayer by writing the acrostic P. R. A. I. S. E. down the page like:

P. – Praise. Thanking God for loving and speaking to me. Praising him for being Lord, worthy of all glory, honor and praise. Majestic and holy. High and lifted up.
R. – Repentance. Confessing, being sensitive to God. If I can’t think of anything to repent of, I ask God to show me and he does.
A. – Acknowledgment. Recognizing God as supreme, sovereign Lord and my need to bow to him.
I. – Intercession. Asking God to help the people in my life, officials, ministers and missionaries, etc.
S. – Supplication. Asking God to help me with my needs, struggles and concerns.
E. – Equipping. Begging God to make me usable in building his kingdom and willing to pray, “Here am I. Send me” (Is 6:8).

Then I think about the things left to be done. Writing “Today’s To Do:” I ask God to order my day. Often, God adds a task like call or write someone. Then I leave the appointment with an attitude of continuous conversation. “Let’s go.”

Over time, I’ve been tempted to reduce this process to a formula. Prayer can easily turn into a ritual without meaning. Prayer is the relationship, not a rule. When we make prayer a dutiful practice, we create a religion about God not enter a relationship with God. The goal is spiritual connectivity with God.

Prayer brings me closer to God. This exercise helps me. It can be easily adjusted to fit various schedules, personalities, and lifestyles. Journaling is not the desired end or even necessary, but my conversation with God is vital. I’m convinced prayer, when devotedly engaged, will form a deep spiritual experience with God.

If you would like to experience God moments, like Kathy did with her children in Spiritual Life (part 1), try practicing these exercises during the week. Do it for a month and let me know how it goes. PLEASE encourage others by sharing your God experiences in the comments below. If you find this series helpful, share it with the spiritually hungry. Let’s spread the relationship.

“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me” (Jer 29:13).

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(Images courtesy of sxc.hu)

Robin speaking at Yahweh Street Ministries, Forest Glen in TX on 10/15/10

September 30, 2010 in Events with 4 Comments

Robin presents a fireside challenge Friday night to kick off the Tears to Tiaras ladies retreat for Yahweh Street Ministries October 15, 2010. She shares a taste of next year’s retreat with this year’s attendees. Lives will be changed as women pray and find God faithful for all their hurts.

Spiritual Life (Part 2) Experiencing God Gives Hope

September 16, 2010 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 0 Comments

Bags crinkled and cans clinked in my hands when a screech wailed from the other end of the house. I was putting away the week’s groceries as the kids, freed from the car, ran inside to play. Instead of running out of the pantry, I waited. The surge of worry settled into a deeper exhaustion. I was too tired to know what to do. I knew what had happened. Nothing had changed.

I took a deep breath and placed the potatoes in the bin. When the crying slowed, I called my young son, “Jonathan, come here please.” I shelved the peanut butter and wondered what to do. I’d tried everything to teach him that he must use his words. That hitting his sister wasn’t an option. Nothing worked.

Sad Girl “Lord, I need help. I can’t do this.”

I heard the little steps slowly approach. Jonathan rounded the corner with his head down.

Overwhelmed to the point of giving up, I managed to sigh, “Son, what did you do?”

His downcast guilt spilled over to defiance. “She wouldn’t leave my trucks alone. She’s always messing up my . . .”

“Jonathan, I didn’t ask what Christa did. I’ll talk with her in a minute.” My calmness surprised me. I was too tired to be the mommy. “I want to know what you did?” I crumpled the grocery bag and poked it in with the others for later use as a dirty diaper sack.

He looked so small with his head hung low, but his voice was even smaller. “I hit her.”

“Honey, remember how I told you to use your words? To ask for what you want?”

“I tried to, Mommy.” He looked up at me with huge tears about to erupt from his eyes. “I didn’t mean to hit her.” He shrugged and dropped his shoulders. “I just can’t do it.”

His words grabbed my throat, choking the reminder of my failed attempts to do good. I had just asked God for help with the same words. “I can’t do this.”

The grip loosened when God spoke. “You are my child. You are just like Jonathan.”

I can’t do things right either. I felt like Paul, stuck. “I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway” (Rm. 7:19, The Message).

God answered my question with one of his own: “What do I do when you disobey?” The answer followed quickly, “Love him my way.”

I confessed to Jonathan my need for God’s help to do what’s right and my trouble obeying. We talked about how God can help us, how he wants us to tell him about our struggles and how he gives hope when we feel like there’s no way we can do what we are supposed to do.

We need grace, mercy and hope. People can learn spiritual things through Bible lessons and mimicry, but they need a personal experience with God. Teaching them spiritual relationship skills enables them to experience Jesus and change their lives. They learn to have an ongoing conversation with God and a deep vibrant faith. They find a breathing, intimate relational God that jumps off the inked page of scripture and enters our three-dimensional world: a world in need of hope, full of hurt, sorrow and worry.

Let’s give others, especially our children, hope by teaching them to experience Jesus.

You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, “It is hopeless”; you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint (Is. 57:10, ESV).

How do you give hope to your children? How does your experience with God help you show others how to experience Jesus?

In Spiritual Life (Part 1), I shared that our spiritual knowledge doesn’t have to be perfect to teach. The upcoming Spiritual Life (Part 3), will contain lessons on how to regularly experience God.

This post is part of the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series or the other Blog Series.

(Images courtesy of sxc.hu)

Robin in Bangs, TX on 10/29/10

September 1, 2010 in Events with 0 Comments

Bangs First Baptist Church
hosts

Capture Me!
Ladies Conference

October 29-30, 2010

Click to register or call FBC @ (325) 752-6724

CaptureMeInsert

Capture Me! begins at 6:00 p.m. Friday night and ends 3:30 p.m. Saturday. Reservations are needed. Dinner, breakfast and lunch are provided. Childcare optional with registration. See registration form for information.

Don’t miss this great opportunity for a dynamic weekend of worship, inspiration and friendship.

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