Every girl wants to be told she’s beautiful. (Heaven forbid that anyone would strike at her heart by telling her anything less.) I spoke at a ladies event with over 500 women in a picturesque setting when it happened to me.
Thoughts of beauty were on my mind because of a previous Google question that brought a reader to my site. Check out the post I wrote in response to the question, “Does a Minister’s Wife have to be beautiful?”
Requirements of ministers wives aside, I often tell the women I meet they’re beautiful. But during this event, a young woman passed by then turned around to say, “You’re a beautiful woman.”
I scraped myself up. Me, someone with loosening skin and a few extra years. You’d a thought I just won a million bucks. All of a sudden my feet in those pointy heels didn’t hurt anymore. I walked taller, smiled bigger and, well, fulfilled those prophetic words. I became beautiful. I couldn’t pick that giver of beauty out of a crowd of two, but if you’re that woman, “Thank You!”
The Value of Beauty
Isn’t it odd how much better we feel when we think others value our beauty? We actually feel valuable. Oh, I know it’s a mind thing, but somehow it shows in our countenance and behavior. The link between beauty and value exposes a great feminine need. One that’s almost as important as food and water. Girls need a regular diet of words, actions and attitudes that make them feel beautiful. For without this need being met, our spirits languish like that of a newborn left on cold hard surfaces, never to be held in a warm embrace. Something within just dies.
We are bombarded all day with ugly, unkind and you-don’t-measure-up influences, some that stare at us from the face in the mirror. Let’s find some uplifting reinforcements of the beauty that God created us to be.
Ways to Help Girls Know They’re Pretty
Here’s a short list of a few thoughtful ways to make the girls in your life glow in beauty. We can become like the woman at the event and be a giver of beauty to girls that desperately need Read through these and add more in the comments.
- Out of the blue, tell her she’s amazing. Recognize each time they dress nice and compliment them on how beautiful they look.
- Acquire for them an inexpensive little something (flower, lotion, costume jewelry, flip-flops, whatever) and say, “This was so pretty. It reminded me of you and I had to bring it to you.”
My husband bought a single red rose and placed a little ruby ring in its blossom then brought it home unexpectedly. He said it reminded him of me: spicy, beautiful, prickly dangerous at times and, well, … I’ll not say the other one. Some things are best kept secret.
- Notice her effort to create something beautiful (a meal, room decor, craft, etc.) and make a big deal about how she creates such beauty.
- Hug her while acknowledging the beautiful way she relates to people: nurturing, caring and handling various kinds of people.
- Work for her or together with her while saying she’s worth it, or beautiful when focused on the work. She will know she’s valued.
- Enjoy time spent with her doing something she likes or nothing at all.
Quite unintentionally written, but these actions remind me of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In Chapman’s book, you could read up on his 5: words, time, touch, gifts and acts of service.
What else can you add to the list? How have you encouraged girls in your circle? If female, in what ways have you received positive hits to your beauty/value meter?
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This post is part of the blog series Insights into Ministry and Leadership. Check out the others.
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Total surrender. I know He gives beauty for ashes – not just because His Word says so, but because I am living proof. I’m always amazed at the number of women who feel just like I felt: unworthy, no good, a failure, useless. The fact that God allows me to minister to them knocks my socks off! I told God that I would be faithful to share my story to encourage others. But I didn’t know that He would take me up on it! I praise Him today because He delights in using broken vessels. That’s me: broken, but not forsaken.
I haven’t always liked my testimony. It’s not pretty. It’s messy. Ugly. Wrong. But people don’t need to hear another fairy tale story. They need to hear about someone’s less than perfect life and how they overcame it. I’m amazed at the growth that has come from suffering. The peace. The contentment. This place of quiet acceptance is very freeing. Maybe that’s the most extraordinary part: that God took a woman wrapped in religion and set her free in Christ. That He uses her to help others find their way to Him and freedom. Yeah, that’s me: a freedom fighter. 
