Every girl wants to be told she’s beautiful. (Heaven forbid that anyone would strike at her heart by telling her anything less.) I spoke at a ladies event with over 500 women in a picturesque setting when it happened to me.
Thoughts of beauty were on my mind because of a previous Google question that brought a reader to my site. Check out the post I wrote in response to the question, “Does a Minister’s Wife have to be beautiful?”
Requirements of ministers wives aside, I often tell the women I meet they’re beautiful. But during this event, a young woman passed by then turned around to say, “You’re a beautiful woman.”
I scraped myself up. Me, someone with loosening skin and a few extra years. You’d a thought I just won a million bucks. All of a sudden my feet in those pointy heels didn’t hurt anymore. I walked taller, smiled bigger and, well, fulfilled those prophetic words. I became beautiful. I couldn’t pick that giver of beauty out of a crowd of two, but if you’re that woman, “Thank You!”
The Value of Beauty
Isn’t it odd how much better we feel when we think others value our beauty? We actually feel valuable. Oh, I know it’s a mind thing, but somehow it shows in our countenance and behavior. The link between beauty and value exposes a great feminine need. One that’s almost as important as food and water. Girls need a regular diet of words, actions and attitudes that make them feel beautiful. For without this need being met, our spirits languish like that of a newborn left on cold hard surfaces, never to be held in a warm embrace. Something within just dies.
We are bombarded all day with ugly, unkind and you-don’t-measure-up influences, some that stare at us from the face in the mirror. Let’s find some uplifting reinforcements of the beauty that God created us to be.
Ways to Help Girls Know They’re Pretty
Here’s a short list of a few thoughtful ways to make the girls in your life glow in beauty. We can become like the woman at the event and be a giver of beauty to girls that desperately need Read through these and add more in the comments.
- Out of the blue, tell her she’s amazing. Recognize each time they dress nice and compliment them on how beautiful they look.
- Acquire for them an inexpensive little something (flower, lotion, costume jewelry, flip-flops, whatever) and say, “This was so pretty. It reminded me of you and I had to bring it to you.”
My husband bought a single red rose and placed a little ruby ring in its blossom then brought it home unexpectedly. He said it reminded him of me: spicy, beautiful, prickly dangerous at times and, well, … I’ll not say the other one. Some things are best kept secret.
- Notice her effort to create something beautiful (a meal, room decor, craft, etc.) and make a big deal about how she creates such beauty.
- Hug her while acknowledging the beautiful way she relates to people: nurturing, caring and handling various kinds of people.
- Work for her or together with her while saying she’s worth it, or beautiful when focused on the work. She will know she’s valued.
- Enjoy time spent with her doing something she likes or nothing at all.
Quite unintentionally written, but these actions remind me of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In Chapman’s book, you could read up on his 5: words, time, touch, gifts and acts of service.
What else can you add to the list? How have you encouraged girls in your circle? If female, in what ways have you received positive hits to your beauty/value meter?
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This post is part of the blog series Insights into Ministry and Leadership. Check out the others.
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Truth was, nothing. Not one thing was that funny. We were just having a grand time. Renae, my fast-forming BFF, and I snickered, giggled and laughed until my face hurt and my sides ached. It was like being a teenager again. Our fun seemed to make many the bus riders take interest.
Over time, I’ve been tempted to reduce this process to a formula. Prayer can easily turn into a ritual without meaning. Prayer is the relationship, not a rule. When we make prayer a dutiful practice, we create a religion about God not enter a relationship with God. The goal is spiritual connectivity with God.
“Lord, I need help. I can’t do this.”
I confessed to Jonathan my need for God’s help to do what’s right and my trouble obeying. We talked about how God can help us, how he wants us to tell him about our struggles and how he gives hope when we feel like there’s no way we can do what we are supposed to do.
Has a child ever put you on the spot with a question? Maybe one you’ve been asking yourself? How can we respond when we don’t know the answer?
Kathy thought the word “homework” would send Jessie out to play, but it became obvious that Jessie had the same desire, to learn about God. She showed Jessie step by step how to do the exercises she was doing. After Kathy journaled a short prayer in the purple book, Jessie wrote hers beside her mother’s. Often Jessie asked questions in which Kathy had no answers. After praying for understanding, Kathy asked her pastor and leaders for guidance. Staying one step ahead, Kathy taught her daughter some tools to maintain, strengthen and develop a deep spiritual and intimate relationship with God.
