Tag Archive - leadership

How to End Well by Focusing on the Beginning

When things approach the end, a sort of excitement and even dread builds. I laughed at my friend’s reaction to the thought of her husband retiring. She felt anticipation, excitement and gloom. For her, it was like a sentence was given and the time was yet to be served. She started a countdown 20 months before R-Day. Over a year away and she’s still counting, excited, happy and filled with anticipation, as well as some anxious, dread of the inevitable.

The End is Coming

The End is Coming!

People like me feel the urgency to make the most of the last few days, squeezing in the results we desired. Time doesn’t stop for our work. The gong of the clock grades our life and our stewardship. Staying focused on the goals we set at the beginning will help us finish well.

Endings cause goal-oriented people to experience a weird rush of relief, worry and wonder if their efforts made a difference. We evaluate our work against the goals. We question: Did we accomplish what we set out to do? Did we manage resources well? Did we use time wisely? Could we have done things better?

Fresh Start

New Beginnings and Fresh Starts

The cool thing about endings is that they are the hope of new, fresh starts. The new year brings another block of time. A new contract or job comes with a treasure of resources and a multitude of opportunities. A new beginning gives us a second chance to do right and to live wisely.

I seem to regularly need a do-over or a re-start. In the past, I’ve fallen prey to multitasking: doing lots of things at one time and none of them very well (See previous post Why Multitasking Reduces Productivity). My trying to get things done simultaneously produced lots of ho hum results, if any at all. I started projects and finished none. Not at all how I planned to end.

My hope and prayer is to be more productive. I plan to slow down, focus on one thing at a time and do my best work on it. I’m going to stop multitasking. If I’m able to succeed at that goal, I might stop burning dinner, hear my kids, and actually know where I’m going when in the driver’s seat. Hopefully, I’ll finish the projects I started last year.

Now, may focus take over my multitasking ways!

How about you? Did you end your last project as you wanted? Met your goals? Declared failure and did a re-start? Declared bankruptcy and quit? Please share how you focus and finish well?

This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series.

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*pictures from keepingitsassy.wordpress.com & whosright.com

5 Steps to Reach Our Goals and Stop Making Excuses

Since I posted 3 Excuses for Failure to Meet Our Goals earlier and now the excuses are out of the way, I thought it a great time to plan steps to reach our goals. If you want to add excuses or view them in the post and comments, click the link above. There is some comfort in knowing others struggle with our same excuses. But for those who are ready to get on with it. Let’s go for it.

Go For It

Stop Studying and Talking, Start Doing

It’s time to stop studying it, reading about it and talking about it and just go do it! We can overcome our excuses and skip to our goal if we put into practice steps similar to these.

5 Steps to Reach Your Goals

1. Verbalize the goal in specifics.

Where are you going? How are you going to get there? What does it look like when you’ve finished? What has to be done before that can happen? Identify all the aspects of the goal. The paper is blank until we put down our ideas. Get as specific as you can. Just like the assigned paper is blank until the student identifies the ideas that will formulate. Then with hard work it is finished.

2. Visualize yourself taking small steps towards the goal.

What needs to be cut, streamlined and categorized in order to make a step-by-step plan from where you are today to completion? Break the plan down into even smaller steps and identify the first one. Following these baby steps makes the dream goal a reality. Without the discipline to work it, you’ll go nowhere.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Edison

So I like the motivation I get from Thomas Edison. Maybe he’d be a good one to pall around with to learn to get things done. He sure did a lot.

3. Find a group of people attempting similar tasks.

Surrounding yourself with other motivated people gives you the regular motivation and accountability you need. A mentor can be awesome, and blessed is the one who finds one, but a regular band of fellows can be as effective. As iron sharpens iron, you become better as ideas and best practices of dedicated people rub off on you.

4. Practice the skills needed without fear of failure.

Perfection isn’t automatic. We have to guess. Do trial runs. Practice. Make decisions. Some will be bad ones. Failure comes with any challenge. It is a sure thing. Success is working through each setback, learning each step of the way.

“Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison

Keep practicing and moving forward with the next step in the plan. Adjust the plan if needed, but keep going.

5. Consider each accomplishment your validation.

Every small step finished is a huge accomplishment. Most people are talkers and not doers. Celebrate. You’ve started doing the hard things that make you successful. Focus and allow your accomplishment to fuel you to do another step towards the goal.

As some have said, “You can’t eat an elephant in one bite.” Let’s start chewing on the bite we have.

 What have you got to chew on? What other steps do you used to get things done? How do you celebrate when you complete a small step?

Our “someday” will arrive before we know it!

This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the other Blog Series.

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*picture from wealthmouli on mylot

3 Excuses for Failure to Meet the Goal

The New Year began and already our resolutions have waned. When should we actually start doing what we said we wanted to do? When will we stop reading about it, or stop talking about it and just go do it? I faced those questions head on and decided they were partially a scheduling problem, partially a priority problem and partially fear-factor problem.

Stop Making ExcusesWe’re simply making excuses.

Excuse 1: I’m too busy.

We are too busy to add one more activity to our schedule, but if our goal is important enough to be resolved on, spoken of or dreamed about, then we need to be disciplined enough to make the time for the steps to accomplish it. We don’t have to do it all in one day, but spending a little time towards the goal each day will get us there eventually much faster than dreaming, reading or talking about it.

Excuse 2: I don’t know what to focus on.

Some of us get our priorities mixed up and don’t accomplish what we set out to do. I can waste so much time studying what to do and how to do it that I can become an inexperienced expert on the subject and never get any closer to getting it done. Amongst us are both doers and talkers. Who wants to be the one who always talks like a know-it-all and never does anything? I want to be a doer.

Excuse 3: I’ve never done this before. I’m scared.

A huge block to accomplishing goals is fear. What will others think if I try? What if I fail? I can be seen successful if I never try. If I try, I’ll fail for sure. But what’s so bad about failing? Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Failure is the means for us to learn better methods, a step towards sharpening our skills. Success is getting back up after a setback and working at it again. Mr. Edison also said, “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” When on the brink of quitting, we should laugh at fear. Fear is what keeps us from success.

What’s on your bucket list? Something you’ve said, “Someday, I’ll…” How much time do you spend studying it, talking about it or dreaming of it? If it’s that important, why not take some steps to lose that weight, start that company, read the Bible through in a year, learn a craft, read a book, run a ½ marathon, or cook your way through a Julia Child’s cookbook?

What do you want to do and what keeps you from doing it?

Tomorrow, I’ll post 5 Steps to Reach Your Goals. Click to get new posts in your email or RSS reader. Be sure to check out the steps and add insights into how to do what we say we want to do.

This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the other Blog Series.

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*picture from davidwygant.

10 Life and Leadership Principles from Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs knew how to keep reaching new heights, how to make the difficult simple, and how to create awesome products as well as a movement, a following. He’s a creative leader. Check out 10 leadership principles in this great slideshow by @coachbay. Good stuff! Pick and choose what would be good to implement in your ministry, work and life.

 

What creative systems or plans do you have in your leadership style? How can you incorporate or mimic some of Steve Jobs leadership points into your life/work/ministry? Please share your insights and tips in the comments that we may glean from you too!

This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the other Blog Series.

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Uganda Caning on the Blindside

After a late night of using the currently-working sporadic internet, we arose early. I was excited about going back to the kids house to visit with them. These kids are absolutely adorable. They are so loving, kind and happy! In spite of the circumstances in which they live, they are so happy. It’s amazing! Who wouldn’t want to be around such delightful people?

Happy Orphans

Happy Orphans

Happy Orphans

Before I went, I had African coffee, amazing scrambled eggs with tiny diced veggies, yellow colored “raisen” or fruit bread, fresh pineapple and fresh squeezed passion fruit juice. Phil told me this juice was sqeezed by hand and forced through a strainer by the ladies Susan hired to cook for us. I passed through the kitchen and seen one pushing something through a mesh wire, but had no clue what was going on. Their ways of cooking are very simple. Everything is killed, cut, squeezed and cooked fresh. Can you say yum! I wish I could serve you this awesome African tea.

After breakfast Jacque was antsy to go see Fiona, and to take Mariko to the orphanage. We played a little soccer in the missionary house yard, then left to the kids house. Mike and Kenny went with us while the rest of the team worked at the missionary house. We said goodbye to Mariko from the kids house. She had to get back to work in Kampala.

Caning on the Farm

We stayed a hour or two longer. until Phil and the rest of the team came to get us in the van and take us to the farm. The kids had planted maize and potatoes on their farm, spending days clearing the land and planting it by hand only to have the termites eat up all the maize. There wasn’t enough money to pay for pesticides to keep the termites away. The termite mounds were huge and taller than me.

Susan Caning Mike on the Farm

Susan Caning Mike on the Farm

As we walked the property line, Mike volunteered to have Susan cane him like she does when disciplining the children. She tapped him at first and Mike said, “Do it like you normally do.” “Caning” is done with a stick or cane about 3/4′s to one inch in diameter and it’s used to whop the tail end of the disobedient while they lay on the ground. Susan obliged and whacked Mike good. It stung him well and frightened me good. I wouldn’t cross Susan for nothing!

After everyone laughed quite nervously at Mike’s reaction to his stinging back side, we picked bananas, dug sweet potatoes and cleaned up Susan’s grandmother’s grave (it was her grandmother’s land given to use for the orphans). We carried the produce back to the van and the family at the nearby house fed us lunch. Susan had given them the goods to cook for us. We were escorted into the house where benches lined the walls. We sat and the family brought water for us to wash our hands and placed food on other benches in front of us. Then they left the room for us to eat together without them.

Dining on the Farm
Dining on the Farm

 

Honoring Mama

I finished eating before the others and sat visiting with them when a woman brought me a baby to hold. I think it must be customary for the oldest female visitor to be given the youngest baby to oo and ah over. It’s sort of funny that I’d be given the baby. I’m not typically one to take up babies when I see them, and Jacque, on the other hand, wanted to hold them.

Honored by Holding Baby

Honored by Holding Baby

After lunch we were taken outside to lay on grass mats under the trees. While many of the team napped, I watched the women noticing my hair. I pulled the pony tail down and let them touch my mzungu (I bought a t-shirt that had muzungu spelled mzungu) hair. It was so pleasant outside. I asked Susan if anyone ever slept out under the stars at night. (Remember there isn’t any air-conditioning in the houses). She said, “Never.” When pressed she said it is very dangerous to be outside at night. Thieves, drunkards and murderers and such will hurt you. I noticed that even though we were on Susan’s family’s land she locked the doors of the vans. Nothing is safe, even with family.

After a while we drove back to the missionary house, part of the team worked on beds and stuff at the house and the rest of us walked to the kid’s house to set up more solar lights. After being at the orphanage for a while, darkness was closing in and we needed to leave. The lights weren’t finished and I had a terrible time getting the guys to quit work to get back home. Once we left. I felt terribly unsafe, remembering what Susan told me. The bars were already playing music and lit up with flashing lights. I was very nervous. When we got back I thought Susan was going to cane all of us.

Fear, Tired and Blindside

As a group of people on mission get tired, the opportunity for disgruntled attitudes and behavior increases. Our team was nearing weariness. All of us, although testy, gave grace in all situations and didn’t give in to selfish type of reactions. Personally, I was on the brink of blowing and needed a break. What better break than a movie.

The power went out again. James and I came up with the idea of telling stories using a narrator (Chuck), and child actors behind a sheet with flashlights to make silhouettes. We told of David and Goliath, and the story of Job. The kids laughed, but not near as loud as they clapped when the power came back on.

*****
A ruckus took place at the gate of the mission house. Someone was lurking and peeping which in this culture is usually done by thieves and such. Moses, Susan, Phil and other local leaders took the man and called the police. Our team knew something was going on, but were told to keep working with the kids and act like nothing was wrong. After the night was over, Phil told us the gravity of the situation. This is why we weren’t supposed to tell people in the community where we were staying or who we were with. I felt like Lot’s visitor in Sodom and Gomorra.
*****

We settled into the private back courtyard for the viewing. I don’t know who chose the movie. I watching the kids watch “The Blindside” with Sandra Bullock. Try watching that movie with a bunch of dark, skinned African orphans. It sure changes the perspective, especially since before Big Mike moved in with Sandra, he had so much more than the orphans here have. I watched the kids laugh at the short mzungu little brother. They were enjoying the movie. Due to time, Phil stopped the movie in the middle of it and planned on finishing it the next night.

A side note to the evening, another 10 or 12 year old orphan girl took Fiona and kept her occupied away from Jacque the whole night. Later we talked with Phil about it and he said he’d talk with the girl to make sure jealousy wasn’t creeping in. These kids were creeping into our hearts and we wouldn’t want jealousy to have any room.

More pictures are uploaded on Facebook. Check them out.

Please pray for the mission. You can sign up to be a partner in prayer. And for updates while on location you can subscribe to feed here.

Please comment below. I’d love to hear how you deal with the challenges that come your way when you are tired and things aren’t going the way you desire. Would the fear of caning keep you doing right?

This post is part of the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series and you can read more about our trip in the previous Uganda posts. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the otherBlog Series.

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Blog Series

Blog Series

These blog post and blog post series are considered the “Best Of” here on Confessions of a Preacher’s Wife Blog. These are the ones that moved me the most and naturally they are the best I have to offer.

I hope you enjoy the time journeying through them at your own leisure. Also, I trust you find them helpful, become inspired by them, and then maybe change or do something because of them. That your life will be different by taking my hard-learned lessons to heart and applying them as well as sharing them with others!

181/365
Creative Commons License photo credit: Xelcise
Best of Blog Series

Here are the series that I’ve put together for you:

A Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges

This is a series of confessions on how God gently nudged me along on my spiritual journey. Sometimes it felt more like a kick in the pants, nevertheless, I got the message and back on track. Laced throughout are key truths I’ve learned along the way that changed me and I’m sure will help you, if only to laugh at this preacher’s wife and her zaniness.

Living and Working on Mission

This series is more of a log of various ministry efforts and opportunities as well as sharing insights I’ve gained. Any special effort like the Ugandan Orphan Mission or the Capture Me! Conference for women will share about another culture or a mission opportunity. These posts will deliver inspiration to get involved with God and share his love even in your own hometown. Click over to begin your journey of sharing God’s love and be ready to laugh and learn along with me.

  • Engage us here as we live on mission, changing the world one heart at a time.
  • Remember, it isn’t about guilt, it’s about finding something to live for, something that gives your life purpose!

Insights into Ministry & Leadership

This series includes insights and encouragement to improve leadership, ministry and personal/team development. Often we get into ruts doing things as usual. I want to broaden our thinking with some “what if” questions as well as some helpful tips. As a pastor’s wife and leader, I made a fair share of mistakes which caused me to study leadership and effectiveness. In these posts you will learn from my mistakes and gain insights on many aspects of leadership development, teaching and ministry, including ministering to women.

Minister Wives Fellowship and Support

This series both challenges and honors the leadership of ministry wives. If you’re a minister’s wife, you’ve felt the essential need to connect with someone who understands the ministry and gets you. I’m a preacher’s wife and I have a desire to help minister’s wives find a safe place to to be heard and receive ministry. In this blog series, you’ll find helps, a few opinions and lots of confessions in the struggle to be a pastor’s wife. The plan is to build a support system for these special servants that often feel isolated and overlooked. Click on over to take a look at some of the topics.

Other series may be developed as need is expressed. If you have any ideas, please share in the comments below. Please comment and share your insight and solutions. What issues do you deal with that you would like discussed?

As always, if you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here or make a comment on this post!

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Insights into Ministry & Leadership

Insights into Ministry & Leadership

Leadership Wordle 

Thank you for your leadership and ministry. You are a valuable asset and I want to honor you. I wrote this series of posts to encourage you and give insights into how to improve your leadership, ministry and personal/team development. Often we get into ruts, repeating the same duties and tasks while hoping for different results. Think of this series as a way to broaden your thinking with some “what if” questions. As a pastor’s wife and leader, I’ve both seen poor leadership and been the one responsible in said poor leadership. The sorrow over my lack caused me to try harder and study effective leadership. In these posts I’ll steer you away from my mistakes and share some tips on leadership development, teaching and ministry.

I would love to hear your thoughts, suggestions, and topics you’d like for me to consider in the comments below!

Begin changing the world one tidbit at a time with these posts of challenge and inspiration:

  1. Should I STAY? Or Should I GO??
  2. How to be Part of the Inner Circle: Partners in Prayer
  3. Twittering Ministry!
  4. 7 Tips for Women to Help in the Ministry
  5. The S.O.S. of Wise Leadership
  6. 12 Leadership Checks for Making a Kingdom Difference
  7. The Creative Need in Leadership
  8. Successful Life and Leadership
  9. Stepping into Success
  10. Social Networks & Kingdom Influence
  11. 10 Life and Leadership Principles from Steve Jobs
  12. Two Life-Changing Tools for Spiritual Growth
  13. Spoof NLALV New Living Amplified Leadership Version
  14. 3 problems of Christian Leadership (who me, use me, love me)
  15. Who me leadership
  16. Use me Leadership
  17. Love Me Leadership
  18. 5 Practices to lead with love
  19. choosing a speaking topic
  20. how to write a speech outline
  21. continued . . .

As always, if you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here or make a comment on this post!

These are the posts for the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series. Check out the other Blog Series! If you’re a minister’s wife or a woman in the ministry you may like Minister Wives Fellowship and Support Series. Click on over and let me know what you think!

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Minister Wives Fellowship and Support

Minister Wives Fellowship and Support

Welcome to this more intimate series of posts that are meant to be a “we’re-in-this-together” kind of thing. I’ll write these posts to both challenge and honor us as the leaders we’re called to be. We’ve felt the essential need to connect with someone who understands the ministry and gets us. I’m a preacher’s wife and I have a desire to help minister’s wives find a safe place to to be heard and receive ministry. I’ll provide helps, a few opinions and lots of confessions in the struggle to be a pastor’s wife. My intention is to build a support system for you, the special servants of God, that often feel isolated and overlooked.

Future Minister Wives
Creative Commons License photo credit: ubo_pakes
Together, Facing the World

This post will serve as a table of contents for this series.

As always, please leave your thoughts, suggestions, and things you’d love for me to consider covering in the comments!

Can’t wait to get started. The following are the ideas to come and posts:

  1. How to Embarrassingly Prepare Cross-culturally in One Sunday Morning
  2. One Essential Way for a Pastor’s Wife to Deal with Anger
  3. post on being real for minister’s and minister’s wives from a children’s book
  4. continued . . .

As always, if you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here or make a comment on this post!

This is the Minister Wives Fellowship and Support Series. If you liked it, you might enjoy the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series and the Living and Working on Mission Series. Click over to the table of contents for all the Blog Series.

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One Essential Way for a Pastor’s Wife to Deal with Anger

I don’t know about you, but for me my anger is triggered when things don’t work right. When it’s needed, one ought to be able to depend upon it to work. Yet things break, fail and simply don’t get the job done. That frustrates me. I’m busy and really don’t have time to coddle a cantankerous thing-a-ma-jig. It could be my car, my lawn mower or my dishwasher. Or it could be a person, my children or my spouse. It really doesn’t matter which; I struggle with the same frustration when stuff doesn’t work. (Never mind the fact that the way it should work is my way. That’s a different blog post confession all together.) But when a company is paid to deliver a product or service and they fail, my dander especially gets all out of whack. It’s a whole other level.

Frank, May 8, 2011 - Tweety3Creative Commons License photo credit: pat00139
That’s One Angry Bird

Poor Service is Frustrating

Like my internet server. Their service is intermittent based upon how the wind blows. At the same time I have a bad hair day I also have to put up with no internet. It used to be tolerable. A finger-comb through my hair and a short call to the internet provider would fix it right up. I’d call the 800 number and they would punch a button somewhere in their system and it’d be fixed in no time. But not now. I can’t talk with them any more.

In case you haven’t been watching the wildfire news. I live in a Texas hotspot. A heat wave of hot air that parched us with no rain since last October, until recently that is. When the rains finally came, so did the wind. That’s right. Lots of internet outage. The nice young man on the other end of the 800 number said, “I’m sorry the company won’t let me do a quick restart anymore.”

“Why? It always fixed the problem in the past.”

“I don’t know why. I have to call a service representative. They should get to you in a week, depending upon how backed up they are.”

Right. The temperature rose as my blood began to boil. A WEEK! You’re kidding me. And everybody around here with the same provider has probably called for service making the response time even longer. It might be a month before I see results! What else is a girl to do?

I calmly said, “That won’t do.” Then I asked him to report my displeasure over his company’s policy. He hung up after giving me some number where I could talk with someone else. Like I wanted to talk with another person unable to do the right thing and break the company’s new policy! I began to look for the FIRED button, the one with the biggest buzzer?

Self-discipline, Distance and Grace Helps

But even in all that emotion, you’d be proud of me. I didn’t completely soil Jesus in my conversation with this poor guy. It’s not his fault he works for an inadequate company. But to save any outbursts, I chose not to talk with them again lest I give them their pink slip. I’m still debating and hating the idea of shopping for a new service. That’s time I’d rather be spending on more profitable ventures or ministries. My delay could be called grace.

Isn’t that what we should do? Good leaders balance productivity and grace. I’m not necessarily a good pastor’s wife, but I’m working on it. I need wisdom to handle myself and the decisions to be made.

One simple help: Trust God and pray for wisdom and grace.

How do you handle your anger triggers? How do you work at keeping the relationships prime? How do you know when to send the dreaded pink slip?

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Why Following God in Living Relationship is NOT for the Faint-Hearted

What more could I give? I was a Baptist minister’s wife and had served God and his people for nearly 20 years. Really, what more could God ask for? I met with him daily in prayer and Bible reading. I prayed for God to speak to me and to use me as he wished. I taught the Bible and led others to follow Jesus. I taught my kids to love Jesus. I served and did everything any woman could do as a pastor’s wife and one who is called by God to serve him. Or so I thought.

Wait!!
Creative Commons License photo credit: tramod

Following God

One day during my Bible reading and conversation with God, I felt a near audible. I had just prayed, “Lord, use me. Not my will, but yours be done. I am yours. I will follow you.” Then a deep movement stirred me. The common everyday spot in my home all of a sudden seemed . . . different. Everything faded from focus and all I could hear was, “Do you mean it? Will you follow me?”

Whoa. That just didn’t happen. Did it? Fear ran through my veins. I couldn’t respond.

Agitated and no longer able to sit, I stood. Paced the floor. I must be loosing it.

After a few minutes of all the Bible stories of God speaking repeating in my head, I settled on doing what Samuel did. I went back to try to re-enter the conversation. As I sat back down, I wondered where this was going. I re-read the Bible reading and said, “Okay, Lord. Speak again. I’m here.” Or like Samuel, “Speak, Lord. Your servant listeneth.”

There it was again. I heard, “Will you follow me?”

Being a sort of newbie at this way weird situation, I looked around. Could anyone else hear this? Then looked at the Bible again and said, “Uh . . . yes, Lord, I will follow you.”

“Really? Will you follow me?”

I paused. What does he want? How is this happening? “Yes . . . Why, Lord? Why do you ask?”

My mind raced. What is he going to ask of me? Will I do it . . . no matter what?

His “Did you mean it? Will you follow me?” reverberated through my mind. I thought I meant it when I said I’d follow him. But . . .

Then with much more pointed clarity, “Will YOU,” he paused for emphasis, “follow me?”

Oblivious to 20ft tall woman
Creative Commons License photo credit: Funkdooby

Faint Hearted

Oh no. I thought of all the bad, horrible things that God could call me to do. I might loose my life. My family. My friends. Or my respect.

Bingo. Bells went off. That’s what I really struggled with. Pride.

What if God called me to do something that my ministry friends would think was not proper for a Baptist minister’s wife. With all the issues about women and ministry, all of a sudden I felt like God was going to push me to the limits and the many friends that I respected would no longer like me or see me as a good Christian pastor’s wife. Rather they might think of me as one who is way out of line according to their viewpoint of scripture. I feared this with all that is in me. I’m Baptist. I bleed tried and true Baptist. It’s a blood from generations past that includes circuit-riding ministers and denominational servants. What ridicule I might face.

I can see the gossip channel now. Robin Bryce went off the deep end. Turned fanatic. Nobody in their right mind does what she’s doing. How embarrassing for her kids. And what about her husband? Why won’t the church discipline her? My friends probably won’t return my phone calls or they’ll avoid me in Wal-Mart. It’s going to be horrible.

With all my insecurity, I felt that God was asking me to forget my background and my religion, and to follow him in a living relationship. I had to count the cost right then. I couldn’t postpone the decision a day to think on it. I couldn’t call my friends and ask what they think about it. I had to decide now. Would I obey God no matter what?

I wrestled. Fought the what-ifs. Struggled with the no-matter-whats. And concluded that I would be better off with God than against him. Even if I was alone with God and everyone else was against me, I would be okay. Years ago, I thought I had answered God’s four worded question, “Will you follow me?” But this was a much deeper, more costly question and answer.

Arm
Creative Commons License photo credit: Paul Stainthorp

Living Relationship

“Yes, Lord. I will follow you. Wherever and whatever, I would rather be with you, than doing things my own way without you. But, Lord. You have to promise me that you won’t leave me. I can’t do as you ask alone. I need you. Will you promise to go with me?”

It was then I felt his smile. He reminded me of his promises that were already written. “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Heb. 13:5).

That moment was so surreal. As my home came back into focus, I eagerly awaited directions and wondered where God was going to take me.

Daily, I look for God’s hand of direction. This is how I live. Why I do what I do. God gives me directions through our living relationship and I do my best to follow him. I’m not perfect. I mess up. And often I’m gripped with fear. Sometimes the direction is a step into the dark and unknown–a place where there’s nothing but God’s hand. In those times I can sense another question of his, “Do you trust me?”

The room moved out of and back into focus years ago and my life has been a grand adventure ever since. My senses are fully alive. My emotions, intense. And my faith, strengthened. Following God is not for the faint of heart.

What fears keep you from following God? How do you make a practice of hearing God? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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