Tag Archive - Jesus

3 Steps to a New Husband: Rediscovering Your Man

April 26, 2012 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, Ministry to Women with 2 Comments

These three steps will give you a new husband within the week.

Okay, so that might not be a promise I can keep. But chances are very high that you will have a better relationship with your husband if you daily practice these things. Everyone wants to know the short way to better relationship. Follow these keys to a man’s heart and your husband will take notice.

Wife Respecting Husband

Last week I shared some unofficial statistics about prayer that spurred this post. Prayer for Marriage topped the list of felt needs. It’s no big surprise that marriage, the most unifying human relationship with the greatest opportunity of rift, causes us to seek God’s help.

Prayer makes a difference in our relationships.

After exercising the suggestions from Marriage Tops Secret Prayer List, try these steps to a new husband.

3 Steps to a New Husband

1. Pray.

  • Change your prayer. Stop praying about your husband and how you need/want him to be different. Rather, learn to pray for him according to what the Bible says.  See Stop Praying About Your Husband: How to Pray For Him!
  • Pray to see specific things that would make your husband feel valued and respected. We have different triggers. Scratching his back may make one man feel valued, but do nothing of another.

2. Create a Respect List.

Make a list of things you can do to show respect for your husband. You may have to set aside time to create one, but keep it somewhere you can continue to add to it on the fly.

 3. Respect with words and actions.

Begin telling him daily at least one thing from your list that you respect him for. Show him respect with your body language. No angry faces, snarly smirks, or inappropriate eyebrow raises. Never say or act in such a way as to belittle him. Belittling scratches off all previous respect on his score card.

Resources for Marriage relationships (affiliate links because I value their insight):

His Needs, Her Needs by William Harley
Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Judeo world view)

How do you see respect affecting your marriage? What resources have you found helpful in growing a strong marriage?

Interested in guest posting, check out the guidelines. This post is part of the blog series A Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges. Check out the others.

Was this post helpful? Consider subscribing!

Check out the subscription link here. That way you won’t miss a post. And if you really think it’s tops, Twitter it and like the page!

*Picture by  Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Humbled Friday became Good

April 6, 2012 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 4 Comments

How can we call “good” the Friday that Jesus allowed humanity to do unspeakable acts of war against him?

Passion of ChristThe depiction of suffering in “The Passion of Christ” was real.
*picture from HollywoodJesus.com

When I think of all that he endured and that he did it for me, I am humbled. I was stuck in the trap of my unrighteousness and evil bents, yet he chose me worthy to sacrifice all he had for me. Only a deep love would do such a thing. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

This day ought to be called Humbled Friday.

While the day might not warrant the term “good,” the results of what Jesus did creates every kind of good for us. “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit” (1 Peter 3:18). By his coming back to life Sunday morning, he gained victory over death and sin. Then he offered us access to God and life with him: a great privilege and benefit to us!

Why do you think we call this day good? How does the real pain and death Jesus willingly endured affect you?

This post is part of the blog series A Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges. Check out the others. Interested in guest posting, check out the guidelines.

Consider subscribing so you won’t miss a post. And if you really think the post is tops, Twitter it and like the FaceBook page!

Beauty: a Requisite for a Minister’s Wife?

March 10, 2012 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, Ministry to Women with 3 Comments

Should a minister’s wife be beautiful? From a Google Internet search not too long ago, this question landed here on Confessions of a Preacher’s Wife. When I read it, I chuckled and figured I wouldn’t make it if that were a requirement. After a laugh, I began to empathize with the one asking the question.

Should a Minister's Wife be

Was it a man knowing he would eventually fill the role of a minister? Or a woman about to become a minister’s wife? Could it have been a woman already performing as a minister’s wife who feels pressure to be what she thinks she isn’t? Sadly, this is common because someone somewhere didn’t value her and may have told her she was less than desirable. These wounds cut to the core of a woman no matter its source.

Source of Beauty

Without knowing the source of the question, I’ll attempt to answer it by starting with the origin of a woman’s beauty. Since God created woman, he’s the designer of her beauty. Each and every characteristic as well as her God given image displays his handiwork. It is her natural beauty. But when God redeems a woman, his beauty comes to reside in her. When she intently follows him, God gives her a supernatural beauty that shines similar to Moses’ veiled face (Ex. 34:30). A woman living in obedience to God becomes uncommonly desirable with an unexplainable glow. The source of original beauty is God.

God backs up these views about beauty in the scripture. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised” (Pr 31:30). In another reference, those who carry the Good News in obvious obedience to God have beautiful feet (Rm 10:15).

Common Looks Becomingly

With obedience to God, a common woman becomes uncommonly beautiful. The French have a word for this phenomenon. Belle laide means “a beautiful ugly woman, a woman who is attractive though not conventionally beautiful.”[1]

So “Should a minister’s wife be beautiful?” Well I believe, in light of God’s supernatural work, the answer is an absolute yes. Should the trappings of our culture’s view of beauty and a woman’s value be weighed in the decision? No.

Thinking Deeper

But I don’t think the questioner wanted a simple yes or no answer. They may have wanted some thoughts to ponder or even actions to take. So, if you’re looking for a few suggestions, here are some to consider:

  • Single men – Seek a woman who is so in love with Jesus that you feel like a third wheel.
  • Married men – Lead the family and serve them while showing them how to obey and serve God. Treat your wife like a beautiful queen. Most will respond by behaving more beautifully.
  • And for women whether single, married or married to a minister, I suggest you keep practicing the regular beauty treatments, with moderation. Yet give your all in seeking after the perfect lover, Jesus, who will make you remarkably beautiful.

Give it a shot and let me know what you think. Let me know how others respond differently to you when you practice these “beauty” treatments.

If you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here make a comment on this post!

This post is part of the blog series Minister Wives Fellowship and Support. Check out the others.

Was this post helpful? Consider subscribing!
Check out the subscription link here. That way you won’t miss a post. And if you really think it’s tops, Twitter it and like the page!

[1] Merriam-Webster, I. (2003). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary. (Eleventh ed.). Springfield, Mass.: Merriam-Webster, Inc.

3 Changes to Take the Dread out of Happy Holidays

December 20, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 3 Comments

In the midst of harried fall and winter celebrations, most people harbor some amount of dread. More than once I was called Scrooge by my kids simply because I didn’t feel like adding all the extra hustle to my bustle. It’s a hassle to put out all that Christmas stuff only to take it down again. Minutes don’t grow on mistletoe. Many, like me, stretch time as it is without adding holiday stress. Somehow, reflection and thankfulness, holiness if you will, gets lost in our expected and celebrated traditions.

Shattered Christmas

Shattered Christmas decoration.

The pressure mounts, as we are forced to be pleasant in situations of strained relationships. A falling out with either a business associate or some family members may make celebrating with them difficult. We all have an odd Uncle Dan hanging out at family gatherings where we just want to get out. Instead we put on a good face and make a first-class show because it’s the expected dreadful experience of the season.

Others simply have nowhere to go to celebrate with anybody. They are alone. Feeling abandoned in an odd sort of way. They dread the Michelangelo’s or Banquet frozen dinners and lifeless Christmas movie viewing. Alone. Again.

A Change of View

As I thought about these dreaded situations, I remembered Jesus’ banquet story. He said a man went to a lot of trouble to get ready for a party and no one really wanted to come. Therefore, he invited the day workers off the corner, the lonely, the drunken castaways and anyone else who just happened by to come to the banquet.

 

Charlie Brown change of view

 

I can see several similarities about this story to my approach to Christmas. First, I see there is much preparation involved in gathering people together. But the point isn’t the preparation, rather, it’s that we set aside time to gather together and reflect on what is holy. I’ve determined that, even with my schedule, I’ll make the food, set the table and get ready to focus on God this season.

Second, I see lots of people who are much like me, way too busy. We often don’t schedule any room for meaningful relationships and have trouble stopping to focus on God’s big picture, to sit at his feet. He’s in control and we need to drop everything and spend time with him at his table. When I stop my busyness, I realize what is really important and what isn’t.

Third, and this may be the most significant; we can be like the man in the story. We can go to great lengths to create an atmosphere for others to celebrate Jesus and then invite them to come to our table. These may be outcasts, people from broken homes, workers who can’t get home, singles with no family or those who feel left out, anyone who will come for a meal and celebrate. We can intentionally set a place for a guest at our celebration in order to give greater meaning to why we celebrate.

Three questions to consider while approaching Christmas.

  1. Am I considering that the point of all the cooking, shopping and decorating is to gather with other people and focus on what is holy? It’s not just about the food, gifts and fun décor.
  2. Am I too busy to develop meaningful relationships, relax and have fun with others? Is work or my schedule keeping me form experiencing the love and peace of God and others?
  3. Have I considered that there are people all around me that have no reason, no relations or no friends to celebrate Christmas with? Would I be willing to invite those that are overlooked to celebrate with me?

The answer to these questions provide for a more meaningful Christmas.

What about you? How are you taking the “dread” out of the “Merry Christmas?”

This post is part of the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series or the other Blog Series.

Was this post helpful? Consider subscribing!

Check out the options for subscribing here! That way you won’t miss a post. And if you really think it’s tops, Twitter it and like the FaceBook page!

Orphan Laundry and Service

August 7, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife, Leadership, Ministry to Women with 7 Comments

Today, we loved the kids! We decided to get up early to go the the orphanage and work, as well as play and have Bible study. We were so anxious to get there, we skipped breakfast and walked on over.

Walking Culture

The men in Uganda walk holding hands to show band of brotherhood or close friendship. The women also, but never will the women or men show that kind of public affection even if they are married. Chuck nearly got caned for kissing me on top of the head. Susan is a strict enforcer, caning disobedient orphans or muzungus are her specialty. Caning is where a cane is used as a switch. Not to be laughed at. I’m terrified by the thought.

Our men walking Ugandan style

Our men walking Ugandan style

Washing Orphan Clothes

When we arrived, many of the orphans were taking exams or doing chores. I noticed one of the older orphans that I taught, Carolyn, the choir mistress, was washing her clothes. So I went over and asked her to teach me. She had her baffle, which is a plastic wash basin, and a blue bar of soap and she was scrubbing the clothes in the water and rubbing in the soap. I bent over and picked up a red striped skirt that was soaking in her baffle and began mimicking her washing technique. When I finished doing as she taught me, I wrung it out and tossed it into another baffle of fresh, clean water. After scrubbing her clothes she would then wring the fresh water out and lay them across a wire or on the fence to dry.

Orphans Washing Clothes

Orphans Washing Clothes

Phil told us that the little orphans don’t like washing their clothes. I guess kids are kids and chores are chores, even in Uganda.

He also said that the running water is pumped out of the Nile. Ha! That means I was washing clothes with my hands in the Nile just like people have done for centuries. I’ve joined some kind of link with a great past, like linking arms with Joseph as a servant in Potiphar’s house or watching Moses’ basket float down river with Miriam.

How awesome it that? It means that I’ve been showering in the Nile. And after boiling it for tea and coffee, even drinking the Nile. Hmm. Never thought that I would ever live for days on end so closely tied to the Nile River. Who would have thought that like the people of ancient times this Texas girl would live off of the Nile.

The children break branches off trees and sweep their living quarters. They even swept the dirt play yard where we meet with them. I saw one girl of about 10 years old sitting on a bean sack made of woven plastic, sewing a torn piece of cloth over a hole in her skirt. She had a needle and was using one of the threads of plastic from the sack to sew the patch on the cloth. The Africans take great care in looking nice. They like suits and nice clothes and shoes, probably because they represent money.

We spent the whole day at the orphanage. The guys worked on plastering the orphanage wall. And putting up solar lights in the girls dorm rooms. Jacque and I had the hardest work, playing with the kids. Not really, we had a blast.

Bible Study with Orphans

Bible study with orphans

Bible study with orphans

I taught two Bible lessons back to back to the older orphan girls. First, we discussed the Roman road and the need for an active personal relationship with God through Jesus and a way to deal with our sin nature. I asked Carolyn to lead us in singing praise. Afterward they wanted to have another lesson. So I asked for a show of hands for anyone who had dirty socks. I chose a girl, Ruth, and asked her to get me her socks, baffle and soap. I also asked Esther, a brilliant older orphan to read John 13 aloud. This passage in John is where Jesus washed the disciples feet. As Esther read, I bent over and washed Ruth’s socks. The girls stood in a circle around me as I squatted over the bowl and scrubbed the socks. It was a powerful illustration of servanthood. They “hmmed” which is a traditional acknowledgement of agreeing with you. I may come back to America hmming instead of saying yes, or answering people.

Iganga is about 80% Muslim. The orphanage, run by “saved” Christians, openly states their faith and doesn’t allow fasting for Ramadan or other non-Christian ceremonies in the orphanage. While we were here, Ramadan was observed. It’s pretty weird to be hearing the prayer chants throughout the village. Christianity is a cultural designation. If you want to know if one is a believer, you don’t ask if they’re a Christian. You ask if ask if they are saved.

The day was full and we went to bed full of dreams of the kids’ smiles.

More pictures are uploaded on Facebook. Check them out.

Please pray for the mission. You can sign up to be a partner in prayer. And for updates while on location you can subscribe to feed here.

Please comment below. I’d love to hear your response to the religious culture and knowing children of 5 and 6 years old washing their own clothes by hand and the great care they take in being clean and tidy.

This post is part of the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series and you can read more about our trip in the previous Uganda posts. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the otherBlog Series.

Was this post helpful? Consider subscribing!
Check out the options for subscribing here! That way you won’t miss a post. And if you really think it’s tops, Twitter it and like the FaceBook page!

Mismanaging Self Is Wicked

February 15, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 5 Comments

Those of us who manage have a grave responsibility. Whether it’s managing the kids while they clean their room, or the money in the family banking account or associates while at work, it’s a privilege of great responsibility to do the work of a manager.

The manager’s effectiveness is reflected in that which they manage. A problem exists when the managers can’t manage themselves. Mis-managers can be terrible organizers, communicators or just plain lazy. When managers mismanage, they create issues for who or what they manage. As an example, check out this biblical story.

“A faithful, sensible servant is one to whom the master can give the responsibility of managing his other household servants and feeding them. If the master returns and finds that the servant has done a good job, there will be a reward. I tell you the truth, the master will put that servant in charge of all he owns. But what if the servant is evil and thinks, ‘My master won’t be back for a while,’ and he begins beating the other servants, partying, and getting drunk? The master will return unannounced and unexpected, and he will cut the servant to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 24:45-51).

Managers must learn to manage themselves. In the Bible story, the good manager is the one who manages himself with sensibility and commitment. The other couldn’t manage his passions and therefore had no ability to manage his tasks. He was given to chasing after his own whims and all sense was lost to him. He’d loose his temper, play instead of do his work and ignore moderation in his eating and drinking (See Titus 1:6-9). He had no control over any aspect of ruling his own life and therefore he couldn’t manage anything else.

Hearing this story causes me to question my abilities. Do I mismanage my own life? Am I managing well my passions, my tasks, my time and the people in my life? What kind of manager, wife, mother and witness am I? Am I doing what I should be: sharing God’s love, making disciples, feeding the hungry, visiting the sick and imprisoned, clothing the poor, etc.?

Maybe we all need to work on some areas. I know I do. The master will come at any moment and even though we can’t see Jesus, he sees everything we do. We must set our hearts on being sensible and faithful to task. Don’t we want to hear, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21)?

Subscribe to the blog feed feed-icon-28x28.
(Images courtesy of sxc.hu)

11 Blessings for New Year 2011

January 1, 2011 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 1 Comment

To you, my valued friends and readers, I wish you an awesome New Year every day of 2011.

New Year

Here are eleven blessings I pray for you.

  1. May your table be filled with good food all year.
  2. May God give you health and vitality with fulfilled desire for proper exercise and food choices.
  3. May your time be productive and well rounded as your efforts are blessed and balanced.
  4. May you influence others for God’s good, make a difference and impact positive change.
  5. May your days be filled with warmth of love and friendship as you open your heart to love others.
  6. May your resources increase as your charity and philanthropy grows.
  7. May others enjoy your presence and desire your expertise and wisdom.
  8. May you have many pleasant family moments and memories in this year.
  9. May you be blessed in your work, contributing value both to yourself and others.
  10. May your social community broaden and deepen as your relationships increase and become more meaningful.
  11. May you grow more in love with God as you spend time listening to him and reading his word.

And a bonus: May this year be your best!

Thank you for making mine great.

Subscribe to the blog feed feed-icon-28x28.
(Images courtesy of sxc.hu)

Life Interrupted

December 8, 2009 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 3 Comments

I get aggravated when things don’t go as I plan. Like preparing a meal only to find out that my husband ate the same thing for a business lunch. Or when I’m doing my normal work and difficulties keep making the easy task impossible. Even when I’m expecting and waiting for some great experience, I get irritated when it doesn’t happen on my timetable. Like when I prayed for and got pregnant. I really wanted this child, but it was Labor Day and we had planned a steak dinner. Going into labor was not on the calendar. And Christmas. The extra rush of the season—decorating, cooking, gifting, and partying, just doesn’t fit into my already busy schedule. Surely I’m not alone in my frustration when life is interrupted.

Snow Interrupts Flowering

That’s when I read about three people whose lives were interrupted in a major way.

  • In Luke 1 Zechariah went about his duties as a priest when the angel Gabriel showed up and changed his life forever. He was struck speechless when he questioned God about the promise of a child and because of his doubt he would remain silent until the birth. If I was Zechariah desiring a son, I would be somewhat irritated at the situation surrounding this child and being struck dumb. How could I tell anybody?
  • Elisabeth, his wife, had her life changed as well. Imagine desiring for so long to have a child, and then in old age with a wordless husband, she finds herself pregnant. I’d go into seclusion too.
  • I read further where a young girl’s life took an extreme twist. She was engaged and preparing to be wed, when Gabriel shows up and tells her she would get pregnant and give birth to a special boy—God’s son. Talk about wedding changes. Life interruption!

All throughout the Bible and even today, God interrupts normal lives. I’m glad these ordinary people allowed God’s disruption. Their life intrusion gave me salvation. I will put away my irritations and embrace my life interruptions. Off to celebrate Christmas—the best interruption of all.

What interruptions and irritations can you celebrate this Christmas? Leave a thought or comment.

Subscribe to the blog feed feed-icon-28x28.

Broken Sent

December 19, 2008 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 4 Comments

I’ve got a very painful heartache this morning.

I’m broken for the broken.
Crying for those who no longer cry.
Hurting for those devalued, feeling unloved.
Empty Christian shells without joy.
Desperately needing love.
Little girls and boys behind grown-up eyes.
Drying up. Crying out. Is there hope?
I love them.
I want them to know the love I’ve found.
I . . .
I can’t do this alone.
I can’t fix the lack of love.
There are thousands, tens of thousands, millions of them.
They sit in Bible class with us.
They check our groceries.
They walk the streets, homeless.
They live in man-made mansions.
They’re everywhere.
They’re single.
They’re married.
They’ve got relationships galore, but remain alone.
They hide behind destructive behavior.
They mask the emptiness with productivity or success.
They just want to be loved!
Believers and unbelievers alike.
I feel so broken.
I weep.
Oh God, how can I do any good?
The need is so desperate and vast.
I am only one.
Shall I stay at home and cry in my robe?
What can I do or try?
Should I blog this heartache of mine?
Or is it way too personal?
“How can they hear without a preacher,” You say.
Oh God, give me a megaphone!!!
Help me love them.
Love them all.
 

“Take It Outside!!” Real FAITH

November 20, 2008 in Confessions of a Preacher's Wife with 0 Comments

Ever wrestled or roughhoused to the point where it got out of hand and were told to take it outside?

Some issues are not delicately struggled with indoors. We have to step outside and take care of them.

Read about real faith in "Morning Coffee" where my good friend, writer and newspaper columnist, Renae Brumbaugh, posted "Take It Outside."

Page 1 of 212»