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On Productivity: Part I – 101 Reasons to Get Nothing Done

Getting in the groove, especially after a break, is difficult. I seem to burn a day without much to show at the end of it. I get off the hamster wheel to grab a bite to eat or meet someone, but, over all, my nose is put to the tasks with little or no effect. I need to be more productive with my time.

My time and effort gets me nothing. Nothing, but 101 reasons why I can’t get things done. My desk might be one reason.

Desk

It’s a mess. I know. My workspace usually looks worse. So bad that I often take the MAC Air and head to clearer places.

My computer files are more messed up than the desk.

And please, don’t even look at my email inbox.

But the most cluttered part is my mind. It’s exponentially worse off than both my space and schedule combined.

The outcome is lots of stress and no progress. My productivity has been ZERO for too long. If I was my boss, I’d fire me.

The reality is that the creative part of me generates more ideas (tasks) than the practical homeschooling mom, household manager, and minister’s wife could possibly get done. I still have to perform the regular duties of cooking, cleaning, gardening, teaching, mentoring, leading, speaking and just being a wife and a friend. Add on the creative part of ministry and the business of it and I’m done.

Tired.

Sick and tired of not getting things done. By itself, my Franklin Covey way of prioritizing tasks in my little notebook wasn’t working anymore. Where is that saw that needs sharpened anyway? I need some drastic help.

Therefore, I looked into what other productive people do to get things done. After trying several systems, Michael Hyatt applauds David Allen, author of Getting Things Done and Nozbe, a task management system based upon the book’s principles. I researched the program and it sounds awesome. Check out Mr. Allen’s desk. But I can’t afford Nozbe’s monthly fee to get my life together.

GTDdesk*picture gettingthingsdone.com

Overwhelmed and lusting after productivity, I ended up doing what every overworked preacher’s wife does.

I whined.

Got slightly depressed.

And conducted an intense search of the house for dark chocolate!

Afterward, I called a friend for help.

Lori is a smart business woman who coaches small business owners to be more productive. (Surely she could help.) After sitting down with me for an hour and listening to my whine and never ending to-do lists, she quickly concluded how I should handle my tasks. (Btw, she didn’t see my desk or she’d have given up before starting.)

Stay tuned for the next post where I’ll share, to the best of my understanding, the system Lori said would help me. Her system might work for you too.

How do you deal with your weaknesses? What does your workspace look like? What excuses do you have for not getting things done?

Part II: 6 Tips to Get More Done System

This post is part of the blog series Insights into Ministry and Leadership. Interested in guest posting, check out the guidelines.

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How Humbled Friday became Good

How can we call “good” the Friday that Jesus allowed humanity to do unspeakable acts of war against him?

Passion of ChristThe depiction of suffering in “The Passion of Christ” was real.
*picture from HollywoodJesus.com

When I think of all that he endured and that he did it for me, I am humbled. I was stuck in the trap of my unrighteousness and evil bents, yet he chose me worthy to sacrifice all he had for me. Only a deep love would do such a thing. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

This day ought to be called Humbled Friday.

While the day might not warrant the term “good,” the results of what Jesus did creates every kind of good for us. “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit” (1 Peter 3:18). By his coming back to life Sunday morning, he gained victory over death and sin. Then he offered us access to God and life with him: a great privilege and benefit to us!

Why do you think we call this day good? How does the real pain and death Jesus willingly endured affect you?

This post is part of the blog series A Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges. Check out the others. Interested in guest posting, check out the guidelines.

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5+ Ways to Help Girls Feel Pretty: A Girl’s Need for Beautiful

Every girl wants to be told she’s beautiful. (Heaven forbid that anyone would strike at her heart by telling her anything less.) I spoke at a ladies event with over 500 women in a picturesque setting when it happened to me.

Girl in Mirror

Thoughts of beauty were on my mind because of a previous Google question that brought a reader to my site. Check out the post I wrote in response to the question, “Does a Minister’s Wife have to be beautiful?”

Requirements of ministers wives aside, I often tell the women I meet they’re beautiful. But during this event, a young woman passed by then turned around to say, “You’re a beautiful woman.”

I scraped myself up. Me, someone with loosening skin and a few extra years. You’d a thought I just won a million bucks. All of a sudden my feet in those pointy heels didn’t hurt anymore. I walked taller, smiled bigger and, well, fulfilled those prophetic words. I became beautiful. I couldn’t pick that giver of beauty out of a crowd of two, but if you’re that woman, “Thank You!”

The Value of Beauty

Isn’t it odd how much better we feel when we think others value our beauty? We actually feel valuable. Oh, I know it’s a mind thing, but somehow it shows in our countenance and behavior. The link between beauty and value exposes a great feminine need. One that’s almost as important as food and water. Girls need a regular diet of words, actions and attitudes that make them feel beautiful. For without this need being met, our spirits languish like that of a newborn left on cold hard surfaces, never to be held in a warm embrace. Something within just dies.

We are bombarded all day with ugly, unkind and you-don’t-measure-up influences, some that stare at us from the face in the mirror. Let’s find some uplifting reinforcements of the beauty that God created us to be.

Ways to Help Girls Know They’re Pretty

Here’s a short list of a few thoughtful ways to make the girls in your life glow in beauty. We can become like the woman at the event and be a giver of beauty to girls that desperately need Read through these and add more in the comments.

  • Out of the blue, tell her she’s amazing. Recognize each time they dress nice and compliment them on how beautiful they look.
  • Acquire for them an inexpensive little something (flower, lotion, costume jewelry, flip-flops, whatever) and say, “This was so pretty. It reminded me of you and I had to bring it to you.”

My husband bought a single red rose and placed a little ruby ring in its blossom then brought it home unexpectedly. He said it reminded him of me: spicy, beautiful, prickly dangerous at times and, well, … I’ll not say the other one. Some things are best kept secret.

  • Notice her effort to create something beautiful (a meal, room decor, craft, etc.) and make a big deal about how she creates such beauty.
  • Hug her while acknowledging the beautiful way she relates to people: nurturing, caring and handling various kinds of people.
  • Work for her or together with her while saying she’s worth it, or beautiful when focused on the work. She will know she’s valued.
  • Enjoy time spent with her doing something she likes or nothing at all.

Quite unintentionally written, but these actions remind me of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In Chapman’s book, you could read up on his 5: words, time, touch, gifts and acts of service.

What else can you add to the list? How have you encouraged girls in your circle? If female, in what ways have you received positive hits to your beauty/value meter?

If you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here or make a comment on this post! Or if you’d like to guest post, check out the guidelines.

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Beauty: a Requisite for a Minister’s Wife?

Should a minister’s wife be beautiful? From a Google Internet search not too long ago, this question landed here on Confessions of a Preacher’s Wife. When I read it, I chuckled and figured I wouldn’t make it if that were a requirement. After a laugh, I began to empathize with the one asking the question.

Should a Minister's Wife be

Was it a man knowing he would eventually fill the role of a minister? Or a woman about to become a minister’s wife? Could it have been a woman already performing as a minister’s wife who feels pressure to be what she thinks she isn’t? Sadly, this is common because someone somewhere didn’t value her and may have told her she was less than desirable. These wounds cut to the core of a woman no matter its source.

Source of Beauty

Without knowing the source of the question, I’ll attempt to answer it by starting with the origin of a woman’s beauty. Since God created woman, he’s the designer of her beauty. Each and every characteristic as well as her God given image displays his handiwork. It is her natural beauty. But when God redeems a woman, his beauty comes to reside in her. When she intently follows him, God gives her a supernatural beauty that shines similar to Moses’ veiled face (Ex. 34:30). A woman living in obedience to God becomes uncommonly desirable with an unexplainable glow. The source of original beauty is God.

God backs up these views about beauty in the scripture. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised” (Pr 31:30). In another reference, those who carry the Good News in obvious obedience to God have beautiful feet (Rm 10:15).

Common Looks Becomingly

With obedience to God, a common woman becomes uncommonly beautiful. The French have a word for this phenomenon. Belle laide means “a beautiful ugly woman, a woman who is attractive though not conventionally beautiful.”[1]

So “Should a minister’s wife be beautiful?” Well I believe, in light of God’s supernatural work, the answer is an absolute yes. Should the trappings of our culture’s view of beauty and a woman’s value be weighed in the decision? No.

Thinking Deeper

But I don’t think the questioner wanted a simple yes or no answer. They may have wanted some thoughts to ponder or even actions to take. So, if you’re looking for a few suggestions, here are some to consider:

  • Single men – Seek a woman who is so in love with Jesus that you feel like a third wheel.
  • Married men – Lead the family and serve them while showing them how to obey and serve God. Treat your wife like a beautiful queen. Most will respond by behaving more beautifully.
  • And for women whether single, married or married to a minister, I suggest you keep practicing the regular beauty treatments, with moderation. Yet give your all in seeking after the perfect lover, Jesus, who will make you remarkably beautiful.

Give it a shot and let me know what you think. Let me know how others respond differently to you when you practice these “beauty” treatments.

If you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here make a comment on this post!

This post is part of the blog series Minister Wives Fellowship and Support. Check out the others.

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[1] Merriam-Webster, I. (2003). Merriam-Webster’s collegiate dictionary. (Eleventh ed.). Springfield, Mass.: Merriam-Webster, Inc.

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Three Effective Actions to Get God’s Help

I read of an elderly black woman who answered a younger person’s question, “How can I get God’s help?” With wisdom from years of walking with God, she answered with great faith. She said, “You just have to believe God’s done it and it’s done.”

The Help God Uses Ordinary People (The Help where God uses ordinary people to make the impossible possible.)

I’m just an ordinary person that tends to think “I got this.” and work to make things happen. But when there’s a hitch in the plan or the task seems impossible, I ask for God’s help. I beg him to come to my aid much like the father in Mark 9 who sought God for his sick son.

The father struggled in his faith about the seemingly impossible health and healing of his son. He says:

“If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us!”
And Jesus said to him, “ ‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.”
Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:22-24)

The man acknowledged his unbelief. Most of us suffer from the same malady. After asking God for help, we don’t believe he’ll do anything. We’ll keep on trying to do it for him, get someone else to help him, and wait impatiently and anxiously always worrying how he will fix it. We need help

Three Effective Actions to Get God’s Help

  1. Pray Begin a conversation with God. He asks us to pray without ceasing (1 Thes 5:17). For further teaching on how to pray in a way that makes a difference, see Come Awake.
  2. Believe God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is the one who parted the Red Sea, caused the blind to see and raised Jesus from the dead. He can do what to us is impossible. We must believe him and what he can do. My issue is that I believe he can, but sometimes I’m not certain he will. I pray, “I believe; help my unbelief” and learn to trust him and believe.
  3. Obey Not always, but sometimes we have things we are to do to complete the work of God’s helping us. God isn’t going to do everything for us, we must put effort into it’s accomplishment as well. Ours is to follow God’s way and do all he asks us to do, then trust him to help us. “Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this” (Ps 37:5).

Your ability to obtain God’s help is tied to your commitment to following through with these actions. His desire is to help us. We must do our part.

Do you have some impossibility before you? Do you struggle in your belief? How do you seek God’s help? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

As always, if you have a topic or suggestion you would like to discuss please contact me here make a comment on this post!

This post is part of the blog series A Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges if you enjoyed it you can check out the others.

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How to End Well by Focusing on the Beginning

When things approach the end, a sort of excitement and even dread builds. I laughed at my friend’s reaction to the thought of her husband retiring. She felt anticipation, excitement and gloom. For her, it was like a sentence was given and the time was yet to be served. She started a countdown 20 months before R-Day. Over a year away and she’s still counting, excited, happy and filled with anticipation, as well as some anxious, dread of the inevitable.

The End is Coming

The End is Coming!

People like me feel the urgency to make the most of the last few days, squeezing in the results we desired. Time doesn’t stop for our work. The gong of the clock grades our life and our stewardship. Staying focused on the goals we set at the beginning will help us finish well.

Endings cause goal-oriented people to experience a weird rush of relief, worry and wonder if their efforts made a difference. We evaluate our work against the goals. We question: Did we accomplish what we set out to do? Did we manage resources well? Did we use time wisely? Could we have done things better?

Fresh Start

New Beginnings and Fresh Starts

The cool thing about endings is that they are the hope of new, fresh starts. The new year brings another block of time. A new contract or job comes with a treasure of resources and a multitude of opportunities. A new beginning gives us a second chance to do right and to live wisely.

I seem to regularly need a do-over or a re-start. In the past, I’ve fallen prey to multitasking: doing lots of things at one time and none of them very well (See previous post Why Multitasking Reduces Productivity). My trying to get things done simultaneously produced lots of ho hum results, if any at all. I started projects and finished none. Not at all how I planned to end.

My hope and prayer is to be more productive. I plan to slow down, focus on one thing at a time and do my best work on it. I’m going to stop multitasking. If I’m able to succeed at that goal, I might stop burning dinner, hear my kids, and actually know where I’m going when in the driver’s seat. Hopefully, I’ll finish the projects I started last year.

Now, may focus take over my multitasking ways!

How about you? Did you end your last project as you wanted? Met your goals? Declared failure and did a re-start? Declared bankruptcy and quit? Please share how you focus and finish well?

This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series.

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5 Steps to Reach Our Goals and Stop Making Excuses

Since I posted 3 Excuses for Failure to Meet Our Goals earlier and now the excuses are out of the way, I thought it a great time to plan steps to reach our goals. If you want to add excuses or view them in the post and comments, click the link above. There is some comfort in knowing others struggle with our same excuses. But for those who are ready to get on with it. Let’s go for it.

Go For It

Stop Studying and Talking, Start Doing

It’s time to stop studying it, reading about it and talking about it and just go do it! We can overcome our excuses and skip to our goal if we put into practice steps similar to these.

5 Steps to Reach Your Goals

1. Verbalize the goal in specifics.

Where are you going? How are you going to get there? What does it look like when you’ve finished? What has to be done before that can happen? Identify all the aspects of the goal. The paper is blank until we put down our ideas. Get as specific as you can. Just like the assigned paper is blank until the student identifies the ideas that will formulate. Then with hard work it is finished.

2. Visualize yourself taking small steps towards the goal.

What needs to be cut, streamlined and categorized in order to make a step-by-step plan from where you are today to completion? Break the plan down into even smaller steps and identify the first one. Following these baby steps makes the dream goal a reality. Without the discipline to work it, you’ll go nowhere.

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Edison

So I like the motivation I get from Thomas Edison. Maybe he’d be a good one to pall around with to learn to get things done. He sure did a lot.

3. Find a group of people attempting similar tasks.

Surrounding yourself with other motivated people gives you the regular motivation and accountability you need. A mentor can be awesome, and blessed is the one who finds one, but a regular band of fellows can be as effective. As iron sharpens iron, you become better as ideas and best practices of dedicated people rub off on you.

4. Practice the skills needed without fear of failure.

Perfection isn’t automatic. We have to guess. Do trial runs. Practice. Make decisions. Some will be bad ones. Failure comes with any challenge. It is a sure thing. Success is working through each setback, learning each step of the way.

“Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison

Keep practicing and moving forward with the next step in the plan. Adjust the plan if needed, but keep going.

5. Consider each accomplishment your validation.

Every small step finished is a huge accomplishment. Most people are talkers and not doers. Celebrate. You’ve started doing the hard things that make you successful. Focus and allow your accomplishment to fuel you to do another step towards the goal.

As some have said, “You can’t eat an elephant in one bite.” Let’s start chewing on the bite we have.

 What have you got to chew on? What other steps do you used to get things done? How do you celebrate when you complete a small step?

Our “someday” will arrive before we know it!

This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the other Blog Series.

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3 Excuses for Failure to Meet the Goal

The New Year began and already our resolutions have waned. When should we actually start doing what we said we wanted to do? When will we stop reading about it, or stop talking about it and just go do it? I faced those questions head on and decided they were partially a scheduling problem, partially a priority problem and partially fear-factor problem.

Stop Making ExcusesWe’re simply making excuses.

Excuse 1: I’m too busy.

We are too busy to add one more activity to our schedule, but if our goal is important enough to be resolved on, spoken of or dreamed about, then we need to be disciplined enough to make the time for the steps to accomplish it. We don’t have to do it all in one day, but spending a little time towards the goal each day will get us there eventually much faster than dreaming, reading or talking about it.

Excuse 2: I don’t know what to focus on.

Some of us get our priorities mixed up and don’t accomplish what we set out to do. I can waste so much time studying what to do and how to do it that I can become an inexperienced expert on the subject and never get any closer to getting it done. Amongst us are both doers and talkers. Who wants to be the one who always talks like a know-it-all and never does anything? I want to be a doer.

Excuse 3: I’ve never done this before. I’m scared.

A huge block to accomplishing goals is fear. What will others think if I try? What if I fail? I can be seen successful if I never try. If I try, I’ll fail for sure. But what’s so bad about failing? Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Failure is the means for us to learn better methods, a step towards sharpening our skills. Success is getting back up after a setback and working at it again. Mr. Edison also said, “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” When on the brink of quitting, we should laugh at fear. Fear is what keeps us from success.

What’s on your bucket list? Something you’ve said, “Someday, I’ll…” How much time do you spend studying it, talking about it or dreaming of it? If it’s that important, why not take some steps to lose that weight, start that company, read the Bible through in a year, learn a craft, read a book, run a ½ marathon, or cook your way through a Julia Child’s cookbook?

What do you want to do and what keeps you from doing it?

Tomorrow, I’ll post 5 Steps to Reach Your Goals. Click to get new posts in your email or RSS reader. Be sure to check out the steps and add insights into how to do what we say we want to do.

This post is part of the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series or the other Blog Series.

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One Hope for the New Year

Fireworks for new beginnings

Out goes the old year and in comes the new with all it’s challenges, struggles and opportunities. Looking back, I know without God things would have been much more difficult. With God’s help our future looks bright.

“Thus far has the LORD helped us” (1 Samuel 7:12)

I am working on my goals and plans for the next year. My life plan will include health, organization, minimization, focus and some high hopes.

May God give you hope and focus to finish the work he’s called you to with success in the challenges to come. God bless!!

What are you glad to see go this past year? What are you looking forward to the most this next year? Do you have any Big Hairy Goals for this next year?

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How to Keep Christmas Real With Only a Charlie Brown Tree

I’ve been dreaming of a white Christmas for almost half a century. Living here in Texas, I don’t get to hear sleigh bells jingling in the snow. The other night, my girls netflixed Bing Crosby’s White Christmas. I watched it for the first time since I was a teensy thing. All I remembered about the movie was that it began to snow when they sang about their dreams.

Dreaming of a White Christmas

I’ve been singing my dreams for a long time and, well, nothing. No snow. No white Christmas.

White Christmas Wish

The movie is great. I wanted to hug a veteran, dance around the house and forget about all the Christmas dinner and fixings. It seems that back then food wasn’t a main emphasis to those skinny Americans. I don’t remember seeing one Christmas cookie.

Today’s Christmas

Nowadays, Christmas is about

  • stuffing ourselves with rich food,
  • spending next years wages on things that will be trashed in 6 months,
  • and trying to fit family, even the strange and weird ones, into our already busy schedule.

Americans have so outgrown all the old ways characterized by physical work and hardship. Our lives are bent on pleasure and the pursuit of happiness.

Take Black Friday for example. The retailers created a special day for mass frenzy. I chose to leave madness and macing, spraying pepper spray, to the crazies, while I shopped in my pj’s, online. On Amazon, I found a deal on a throwback Atari game consol. A cool present. It will be a Christmas day showdown of Pong, just my brothers and I. I guess we ought to let my little nephew play since it’s his game. Surely I could beat the four year old.

Dreaming of the white square ball bouncing off my white-bar paddle, I waited for delivery confirmation. It didn’t come. I emailed seller via Amazon. No response.

Christmas Frustration

About a week later I received this:

Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

I was infuriated. I spent $65 of my mother’s money buying this cool game console for her to give my nephew for Christmas and instead I received this $10 Charlie Brown tree!! I could’ve pepper sprayed the seller! Amazon’s guarantee made good on the money before I went “postal” in sending anything but steaming e-mails to the seller. If the injustice of it all wasn’t so bad, it’d be hilarious. So now I have a Charlie Brown Christmas tree to show for the meaning of Christmas.

The Real Christmas

I began to question my ability to be happy and merry if everything about Christmas was taken from me and all I had was my relationship with Jesus.

The meaning behind our busy holiday celebrations is lost to us.

  • Some focus on giving, which often is a backhanded way of focusing on getting recognition for our gift giving.
  • Some of us focus on family, eating and gathering together. But what happens when one can’t make it, or is estranged or deceased. Is the meaning of Christmas nil because family isn’t together?

Could Christmas be celebrated without the feasts and wrappings? Or the gifts and trappings? What if we didn’t even have one lonely Christmas ball on a pitiful branch? No family. Nobody. Could we still have Christmas?

Christmas is about hope. Not just a baby in a barn. It’s about rescue, not just a religious holiday. Christmas is a gift. If we stop the shopping, cooking, planning, decorating and eating long enough to accept the gift of Jesus, we find the peace on earth we’ve searched for.

Can we move beyond a religious exercise, into a spiritual relationship? What if all you had was a puny tree? No gifts? No family or friends? How do you keep your focus on the real meaning of Christmas?

This post is part of the Spiritual Journey’s Gentle Nudges Series. If you enjoyed it you may also like the Living and Working on Mission Blog Series, the Insights into Ministry & Leadership Series or the other Blog Series.

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