I’m antsy. Pacing the floor, starting a fire for the night’s chill, beginning dinner and washing dishes. I’m sitting, watching smoke, trying to keep a paper flame going long enough to ignite the wood. My heart aches; it races with anticipation. Impatience. Readiness. Anxiousness. Desiring to get rolling, see the flame roaring, and NOT the smoke in the fireplace. NOT the buying of a book proposal. NOT the increasingly busy speaking schedule. No, it’s the vision…I am driven.

I must go, do. I’m to work, reclaim people as Christ’s, first in North America then the world. The vision is so much more than a book or a speaking schedule. It drives me, inflames my passion. IF God can use me according to all he asks of me, lives will be changed restoring God’s kingdom, redeeming the lost. I’m ready to get going. Or I think I am.

This aching is intense and makes my adrenaline run. I feel the ‘Here I am. Send me.’ of long ago has me in the starting blocks pointed in the right direction having to wait for the gun to go off. Settled, relaxed, and resolute in mission. Tensed and ready for action.

Am I crazy? Why does my heart burn so hot? Do you think I am abnormal?

I do. I am a nobody, but God gave me this passion—a vision that consumes me. Every day I pray for God’s direction. Bit by bit, step by step, in all He has led me through, I come closer and the steps of the vision become clearer. Please pray. Pray I don’t lose my first love, and that I keep after God, not running ahead or lagging behind. I want to consistently follow God’s lead at all times. I need Him excruciatingly. What to do with this ache? All I know is… to remain close in prayer.

Will you join me? Pray “Here am I; send me.” Or “Use me.” If you mean it and believe it, your life will never be the same. Mine hasn’t, but what an adventure.
Robin